(This is inspired by Susan!)
Me: Dinner time! Who’s hungry?
Rugby: I am hungry but only for certain food, and it has to be just so, and I need it in the proper order, grain first, not too much, then hay, you know the drill.
Lucky: NOW, feed, in bucket, immediately or I BE MAD HORSE
Indy: Anytime Baby! I’m always up for chow!
Me: Hamish, you have to lead out of the gate, into the barn, and into the stall. You cannot charge. You cannot strike the gate. That gets everyone everyone mad.
Hamish: But I am hungry. I can’t help it.
Me: Yes, you can. Just keep your feet on the ground. The food is coming as fast as I can dump it in.
Hamish: It’s never fast enough. My foot goes up and just lightly taps it, that’s all, just to make sure you are hurrying with that grain. I don’t mean to, it just does it.
Me: Well, stop your foot when it does that. Here’s the food.
Hamish: Fin–munch, munch–nally!–munch, munch.
Lucky: Hmmm, mmmm, grain, grain, get that rubber food — (tosses soaked beet pulp four or five feet in the air, landing in the bedding) — out of here! More grain! I’m done. I want more.
Me: Do you have any manners? Can’t you at least say please or thank you?
Lucky: (Glares at me) I want MORE.
Me: Eat your rubber food.
Lucky: Oh, alright. But if I do, do I get alfalfa for hay?
Rugby: (Sticks head out) I ALWAYS get alfalfa.
Hamish: I NEVER get alfalfa! Why can’t I have some?
Me: Will you all just SHUT UP AND EAT!!!!